Monday, December 18, 2006

Dethroned

Miss USA, 20 year-old Tara Conner, is about to be replaced due to the Donald Trump-verification of one or more of the following rumors:

  • cocaine use
  • binge (underage) drinking
  • lesbian make-out with roommate Miss Teen USA Katie Blair (WHY is this NOT on YouTube?!?!)
  • promiscuity

In that case, someone should've taken my crown away a long time ago. Just kidding. Not really. In related news, I guess we can expect to see her vagina in print sometime soon.

Honestly, I think she sounds like a good representation of 20 year-old American girls! Why dethrone her? It's not like she robbed a bank and stabbed an old lady right before running over a group of kids in wheelchairs. It's just some old-fashioned cocaine, booze and lesbian kissing. Basically what your average 20 year-old is doing in any given college apartment. Or maybe that was just at my school. Regardless, what else do people expect from middle-America girls whose mothers prance them around in a lifetime of sanctioned contests promoting female subordination and superficiality? They're going to turn into coke snorting strippers in Kentucky or, if they’re pretty enough, coke snorting Miss USAs in New York.

In the meantime, who’s dethroning Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan or Britney Spears? Can someone put The Donald on that immediately!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

it wasn't just your school!

Mustafa Q Brainmender said...

First off, to say that her making out w/ ms teen usa is immoral because it's extremely hot girl-on-girl action... is to offend the entire LGBT community and its friends. Why should Miss USA, who is going to represent the entire nation in the Miss Universe pageant, only represent the mores of a very slim section (and slim-witted, to boot) of the population?