Trainwreck Lohan

By now I really don't have to prove that Lindsay Lohan is totally nuts. From her rambling response to Robert Altman's death to the cuts on her wrists to rumors swirling about her drugs of choice (a fun combination of cocaine, alcohol and oxycontin) to videos of her trying to chase down police, etc...the girl has lost her mind. Anyway, I'm about to tell a story that barely makes sense to me:

PageSix is reporting that Lindsay sent an almost-totally incoherent email to her friends. The bizzare message talked about how she was going to clean up her image with the help of Al Gore. "Al Gore will help me. He came up to me last night and said he would be very happy to have a conversation with me," Lohan wrote last week in a rambling, semi-literate e-mail to her friends and lawyers. In the bizarre message read by Page Six, Lohan burbled, "If he is willing to help me, let's find out. Hilary [sic] Clinton, Bill Clinton, and Evan Metroplis [sic], and John Daur who works with them would be willing, if we just ask. If we just ASK." Lohan was apparently inspired to send out the e-mail by a Page Six item on her "mean girls diva fit" at a GQ magazine party in L.A. Referring to a supermarket tabloid report claiming she had overdosed on drugs, she wrote, "Let's sue the tabloids for saying the things they say. Defamation of character." Invoking what she puzzlingly calls the "way of the future-Howard Hughes," her desire is to "release a politically/morally correct, fully adequite [sic] letter to the press." WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH HER AND THIS "ADEQUITE" BULLSHIT?!?! Lohan says she wants to state her opinions on "how our society should be educated for the better of our country. Our people ... because I have such an impact on our younger generations, as well as generations older than me. Which we all know and can obviously see." Lohan then mentions taking a mystery person she refers to as "LR" to court for "what she's done to me. "It's my life. I want to live it. People cannot lie and think that it is okay to continue on having done so. I have had many ups and downs, as do we all. But to make false accusations to one girl is unjust in my opinion. I am willing to do anything I need to get my life the way it should be." Lohan said she wanted to "hold a press conference" and "will do anything necessary to do so." She said she is at "such a young and tender age in a woman's life. It's enough already, I've had enough and I am going to be the one to make a change." Lohan's representative, Leslie Sloane Zelnik, had no comment.

She reminds me of this girl I knew in college -- she used to do meth for like 20,934 days in a row and then call me to come help her because 'people' were outside her window and vans were 'chasing' her and stuff. Anyway, someone has to repossess that Sidekick while she's intoxicated. I mean drunken text messages are one thing but THIS... Leave Al Gore out of it! He's just an innocent former Vice President.