It's Really SO Outrageous

Here are some highlights from what turned into the Anna Nicole Smith Body Trial of the century yesterday (did anyone remember it was fat Tuesday?):

• Judge Larry Seidlin started off the day by asking Howard K. Stern to write Dannielynn's name on an easel under the word "daughter” for unknown reasons.
• After a short discussion with my father, who is a judge, I’ve confirmed my suspicions that the theatrics are in full effect - Judge Larry S. is using his 15 minutes for a TV deal. It’s a shame really because my father was going to come out as a potential baby daddy. Now I think his services would be best used in the courtroom. He’d really make a perfect TV judge. Much better than Larry S. and certainly better than Judge Judy.
  
• Anyway...Stern's lawyer Krista Barth complained that Larry Birkhead’s lawyer, Debra Opri, said Howard killed Anna in the courtroom.
• Howard K. Stern took the witness stand this afternoon and said some stuff like this:
• He and Anna became intimate over the past few years and decided to keep the relationship a secret. Of Anna he said, "We became more than friends, she was my whole world, everything to me. She was my lover." Of Daniel, Anna's son: "Daniel Smith was "like a brother" to him. He also said that Anna had boyfriends throughout this period of time because he just wanted her to be happy. So basically, he was her fuck buddy. Oh, and J. Howard Marshall was truly the love of her life.
• He said "She talked of death really from the time that I met her.” She though she would die young like Marilyn Monroe and wanted to be buried next to her but it was too expensive. Is there room next to Marilyn? I thought Paris Hilton buried her goat there.
• After Daniel died, Howard suggested they bury him in LA but Anna insisted on the Bahamas. She made Howard check the plots because she and Daniel were afraid of bugs and she didn’t want any getting into the coffins.
• She attempted to crawl into Daniel’s coffin at his funeral.
• He said, "She died emotionally when Daniel died. It was the reason why she didn't want to bury him than earlier than ... she did. It was the most difficult thing that I've ever seen anyone go through.”
• Howard didn’t want to be known as a “gold digger” which is why they never legally married. …buuuuuuuut they were going to get married at the end of the month.
• Howard was supposed to be in court for one day but the Judge asked him to stay longer. They compromised when the judge pulled two private jets out of his ass and let Howard choose one to fly him back to the Bahamas for the night.
  
• Her emballmed body is decaying at the morgue and the Medical Examiner wants her ass out of there by Saturday.
  
• The drama begins again today at 9:30am ET. Watch it here.

Xine's Courtroom Commentary: Can someone please tell me what's so difficult about all of this: the will was so poorly written that Howard doesn't stand to gain much regardless of what happens in the courtroom. Also, let's remember that Anna's estate is basically broke UNLESS she gets the inheritance she was fighting over for 14+ years. Howard was listed as the executor, give him the body and let him bury it in the plot she bought next to her dead son. Take the goddamn DNA and send it to a lab. Put Vergie's fat ass back on a plane to Texas and stop wasting the taxpayers' money.