Thursday, February 08, 2007

One Foul, Philandering Blind Vice

You prolly know Bubble-Butt Bub from his recurring role in a successful film franchise. Or maybe you saw him on the small screen way back when. This blue-eyed, good-looking hump-a-rater has been in the Biz for years, but he's only recently jumped on our goss-obsessed radar—where he's now permanently ensconced, thanks to the following story about his smelly self:

Seems B3 was frequenting a New Yawk hot spot, where he ended up chatting up some comely chicas. They all decided to get a bite to eat, post-booty-shakin'. Then B.B.B. decides to retire to his room with one gal in par-tick. All's sex-ay superswell as they're in bed, prenooky session. And then…it happens. Whatever they noshed on musta not suited Bubble-baby, because he let a big one rip in bed, right in front of the horrified honey. Yucko gross-out! What is it with you straight badasses? Don't you know you're supposed to go to the can, already, to do that crap, if you still wanna get some? Jeez.

Now, this air-despair biz is bad enough, right?

But even worse is that Mr. B. still tries to sleep with the poor babe. And, trust, said sister was not interested, thanks to her farting Romeo's errant behind. So, she hightailed it outta that smelly sack sitch pronto. Damn straight. And when this horrified hon gets home later and Googles the offending B.B.B., she finds out he's actually married with children! Nice. Guess the wife-unit's olfactory skills work a little too well, huh? I mean, the offended dame knew somethin' stunk about the whole scenario, but who knew he was that sleazy? So predictable. It ain't: My guess: A three hundred word story about a one night stand fart? Seriously? I feel like I'm degrading myself just typing about this. Anyone feeling gossipy enough to give the fart story a shot?


Anonymous said...

Peirce Brosnan? Recurring movie role - obviously James Bond; small screen way-back-when - Remington Steele; and he's married w/kids

oldwiseone said...

I'm with you xine - a BI about someone farting? Farting! No seriously, the guy farted. Big deal. I just farted. I hope no one finds out, I could lose my job (if I had one).

xine said...

Hey oldwiseone! I've missed you! I'm glad you agree - when I finished reading it I was like, what?!?! A fart? I haven't heard people talk about farts since I was like 10. In other news, my boyfriend spent like an hour trying to figure out the identity of the mad farter. Men. :)

The girl must be a real piece of work though- she'll gladly have sex with some famous guy she doesn't know with the provision that doesn't fart before sex. I mean ideally, had the night gone as planned, he was going to ejaculate somewhere in or around her. So I guess in her book, he can blow his load as long as he doesn't fart before it happens. It makes no sense. Then to top it off she repeats the whole story so that it makes it into a blind item.