Sunday, February 11, 2007

Xine's Opinionated Mini-Grammy Update

I'm watching the Grammy Awards but I started late so I could fast forward through the commercials so this isn’t a live updated. Ah, the beauty of TiVo. So here are some brief highlights absorbed by my brain, mixed with my opinion and perceptions and they regurgitated via my fingers. I’m sure Dino and I will write more tomorrow.

  • Can you believe Tony Bennett and Stevie Wonder won an award for the best collaboration? I mean they're both legends in music but that shouldn't automatically qualify them for an award. I haven't even heard the song except for the 5 second clip they played before announcing the award. Don't Nellie Fertato's permiscuous ass or Shakira's truth-telling hips count for anything? I mean have you seen those things shimmy and shake. Her hips deserve three Grammys, an Academy Award and two Golden Globes.
  • I'm not not a fan of Mary J Blige. She's a good singer but I just don't see all the hype. She won the best female R&B but then again her song was up against Barfyonce, one of Mariah Carey's shittiest songs and India.Arie who was nominated for a song about not being not her hair.
  • What the hell was with Justin Timberlake's performance? It seriously started putting me to sleep but my puppy kept waking me up because Justin putting his face all up in the camera scared her.
  • I don't even have anything to say about John Mayer winning over Justin Timberlake for best pop whatever other than John totally performed some kind of sexual favor multiple times for that award. I could even stand Christina Aguilera beating JT since she's supertalented...but John Mayer. What is this world coming to?
  • Shakira's hips almost start to make up for the fact that JT just lost the pop award.
  • That rendition of Crazy sounded crazy (in the negative connotation). Is it my sound system, ears or is the sound for this program totally funked up?
  • Doesn't country music have their own awards? Why do they have to spend an extra hour crashing the Grammys. It's not like they let Ludicris, Justin Timberlake and Shakira makes multiple appearances on their show. I think all music has their place in the Grammys but I think country's place is in one of those awards they give out before they broadcast begins. If you haven't realized this by now, I dislike country.
  • Smokey Robinson, Lionel Richie and Chris Brown did a little expo of their music in the chronological order of their existence. Plus: The small children kicking ass in the choreography. Minus: Lionel Richie really brought down the house with "hello' - literally - as in the crowd's enthusiasm said goodbye.
  • That rendition of Crazy sounded crazy (in the negative connotation). Is it my sound system, ears or is the sound for this program totally funked up?
  • Christina Aguilera’s beautiful voice belted out some slow song. Nothing special. Throughout her performance, my boyfriend and I had a conversation about her marriage.
  • After I fast forwarded through the President of the Academy or whoever the hell he was, they threw a couple of public high school students on for a jazz ensemble that lasted about 20 seconds. The 15 year old violin player didn't impress me one bit because she's Asian and they all know how to play the violin like that by the age of 5. I'll give it up to the 17 year old piano man not because he's black; just because he's good. You know they're both from the best public schools in the whole US. They didn't rip these kids out of the ghetto.
  • I stopped paying attention for a while but I remember hearing a clip of the Mamas and the Papas and some other shit.
  • I came to when Justin Timberlake and that anonymous bitch started singing “Ain’t No Sunshine” which is one of my favorite songs of all time and then they broke into “My Love”. One minute she was a semi-anonymous audience member and the next minute she was on stage being sandwiched between Justin Timberlake and TI. That’s like better than winning the $231 million PowerBall. I need to learn that girl’s name soon because she’s going to be famous.
  • And nothing says a grand finale like Al Gore with Queen Latifah.
  • Does anyone really want to hear Scarlett Johansson sing? Well she threw in a little plug for her upcoming album. Just because she can sing doesn’t mean she should. She can save it for those parts in movies that have require singing.
  • Ok, I’m going to bed now because I’m pissed that the Dixie Chicks beat out Justin Timberlake for the Album of the Year. In fact, pissed isn’t the word. I’m more than pissed. I need to make up a word to describe how I feel except I'm too pissed and tired to even create words right now. I haven’t even heard anything from this Dixie Chicks album anywhere. Not even the station in the middle of bumble fuck NE-PA where they only play country music.

Overall opinion: BOOOOOOOOR-ING. That was like the most tedious thing I've done in a while.

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