Mirror, Mirror On The Wall...give me the most scathing review of them all...

I read this article today in the NY Post gossip section. I have to say that comparing Lindsay Lohan to a Flavor of Love girl's turd is brilliant. If I had more time in my life, I'd write articles like this...Enjoy:

LOHAN DIRTY SHAME

'GEORGIA' MARKS BOTTOM OF HER SPECTACULAR FALL

EVEN in America, where the definition of a "star" has now been stretched far enough to include someone who poops herself on "Flavor of Love," Lindsay Lohan is pushing it. Although the 20-year-old actress still graces the covers of magazines and gets invited to the right parties, Lohan's career is currently in the middle of a three-year freefall. Her last hit came way back in 2004 with "Mean Girls." If Derek Jeter struck out this often, he'd be playing Class A ball in Missouri and dating Wilford Brimley.

What makes her recent nosedive so disheartening (ironically, Lohan recently got a tattoo of her lucky number 7 on her neck - craps!) is that Lindsay once showed promise. After winning performances in "The Parent Trap" and "Freaky Friday," she was anointed the Next Big Thing. Sure, she may have had tendencies to stay out too late or swill vodka out of a water bottle, but those were forgiven because she wasn't just some vapid, talentless party girl, like Paris Hilton. Lohan had substance, supposedly. "I'm more worried about Britney than Lindsay, because I think Lindsay is a serious actress," Stevie Nicks, who knows a thing or two about vodka in a water bottle, muses in the latest issue of Blender. Stevie, get ready to worry.

Lohan's new movie, "Georgia Rule," opening tomorrow, has critics throwing around the most poisonous, the most hateful word in the entire vocabulary of a movie writer: the "G" word. "G" as in "Gigli," the 2003 Ben Affleck-Jennifer Lopez film that was so abysmal, it gave anyone who saw it a stroke. In "Georgia Rule," Lohan plays a rebellious teen who's set straight after spending the summer with her tough-love grandmother (Jane Fonda). The only other thing you need to know is that there's a sexual molestation subplot that's played for laughs. Associated Press critic Christy Lemire called the Lohan vehicle "epically awful," and says the film is "chock-full of dysfunctional family clichés - a hodgepodge of histrionics that's just painfully shrill to endure."

The critical and public receptions for "Rule" may make the actress wistful for the days when she was riding high atop the $17 million smash "Lucky You." "Spider-Man 3" made more than that on Twizzler sales at one theater. Regardless of its box office, Lohan's latest will probably best be remembered for its on-set troubles. This is the movie that led Morgan Creek Productions CEO James G. Robinson to write Lohan a nasty letter, calling her "discourteous, irresponsible and unprofessional," after she was frequently late for work.

But tardiness is nothing compared to what Lohan's apparently been up to since then. After a short stint in rehab earlier this year that appeared to be more for show than anything else, the actress has reportedly been partying hard enough to blow Britney's wig off. This week alone, she showed up at the Met Costume Institute Gala wearing a see-through top that showed off her ever-fluctuating bust size, and on Sunday the News of the World printed photos allegedly showing her snorting cocaine in a Hollywood nightclub bathroom. More people saw that than "Bobby" and "A Prairie Home Companion" combined.

"Lohan is running the risk of becoming famous for being famous, with all her exploits," says Chad Hartigan, a box-office analyst at Exhibitor Relations, an entertainment research company. "Everyone always says there's no such thing as bad publicity, but then the studio is left scratching its head when 'Mission: Impossible 3' [starring nutty Scientologist Tom Cruise] doesn't do well. I do think there's such as thing as bad publicity." If "Georgia" fails to rule, Lohan should forget going to Mom for guidance. The only advice hard-partying "she's my daughter, she's my sister!" Dina - who touts herself as the "white Oprah"(um..more like ORANGE Oprah) - would give probably involves Jager.

Instead, Lindsay should try to regroup by taking a few years off and going to college. That strategy helped turn former child stars such as Natalie Portman into successful adult stars. There's always that Internet school University of Phoenix. It's not prestigious, but at least its keggers are only virtual.