Showing posts with label Stupidity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Stupidity. Show all posts

Thursday, September 13, 2007

YOUR 15 MINUTES: The Bald Rogaine Bandit

Sometimes people make this blogging hobby really easy...like 42 year-old Mark Hoousendove from New York. Mark dropped off friends to visit an inmate at Sing Sing prison on Sunday. Assumedly after dropping off his friends, Mark was bored and realized he had no hair so he proceeded to drive to the local pharmacy to steal Rogaine. A nearby officer chased the bald Rogaine thief down the street and was able to catch him. Hoousendove was jailed in lieu of $3,000 bail and is due in court today. Rogaine costs about $50. This story is priceless.

Friday, September 07, 2007

You Mean Suing People Isn't a Job?

Life must be hard when you don’t have an actual job and/or classes to report to on a daily basis. I mean, really, there actually is somewhat of a limit on the amount of time any given person can spend: shopping, tanning, talking shit on people, getting hair extensions, eating, drinking, doing drugs, laying out by the pool, adopting animals, going on vacation, taking pictures, dancing and having sex. What else is left to do on the rest of your free time? According to Paris Hilton, sue people. When one lawsuit finishes she starts up another. Now that she has to pay Zeta Graff a reported $2 million in a defamation case, she’s decided to sue Hallmark to recoup some cash. You didn’t think she’d actually use her own stinky perfume money to pay Zeta, did you? I man Paris DID just buy a new $6 million mansion…give her a little break.

Paris Hilton has filed a federal lawsuit over a $2.49 Hallmark greeting card that uses a photo of the heiress and her trademarked phrase "That's Hot." In a complaint filed yesterday in U.S. District Court in Los Angeles, Hilton alleges that Hallmark has, among other transgressions, misappropriated her image and invaded her privacy with the card. According to the lawsuit, the greeting card, which purports to show Hilton's "first day as a waitress," was first distributed earlier this year and remains on sale. Hilton is seeking at least $500,000 in actual damages and a permanent injunction barring Hallmark from further exploitation of her name and likeness. The "waitress" card is one of three recent Hallmark offerings that have featured Hilton. [source]

I still think it's hilarious that she trademarked "that's hot" - like it's some brilliant linguistic algorithm that nobody in the whole world has ever thought of before.

Monday, August 27, 2007

1/5 Of American's Can't Find America on a Map

Here's Miss South Carolina explaining why this occurs:

Friday, June 15, 2007

YOUR 15 MINUTES: Happy Father’s Day

Carey Whitlow was taking a trip to the store and realized he forgot his cell phone. When he went back into the house, his 3 year-old daughter climbed on top of his truck. He drove for almost 5 miles, unaware his toddler daughter was hanging off the top of his camper. You know his Whitesnake tape was too loud. She eventually let go, fell off the truck and then got up and started running after the truck. A passing motorist saw her fall. Carey still had no idea that the daughter just fell off the top of the moving truck when his wife called saying their daughter was missing. They were reunited in her hospital room. The daughter is doing well. The parents should be fired. [source]

Thursday, May 03, 2007

YOUR 15 MINUTES: Taken to The Cleaners

My colleague randomly bought me this gorgeous shirt she thought looked like something I would love. I did and I wore it once then sent it off to the cleaners. It was silk jersey and absolutely needed to be dry cleaned. Let me preface the rest of this story with the fact that I have serious trust issues when it comes to clothing. I love my clothes and I put a lot of time and effort into my wardrobe, therefore, the anonymity and uncertainty of a dry cleaner drives me semi-insane. The other day I picked up a bunch of items and transported them to my closet. I decided to change into the shirt my colleague randomly bought me and it happened… The dry cleaner ruined the shirt. It had about 5 different holes and 4-5 weird pulls in the fabric. They’re currently trying to fix the shirt but I’m pretty sure it’s going to the rags. I’m slowly coming to terms with this idea and I think I’ll make it through this. One of my fellow DC’ers had a different idea about how this situation should be handled:

The Chungs, immigrants from South Korea, realized their American dream when they opened their dry-cleaning business seven years ago in the nation's capital. For the past two years, however, they've been dealing with the nightmare of litigation: a $65 million lawsuit over a pair of missing pants. Jin Nam Chung, Ki Chung and their son, Soo Chung, are so disheartened that they're considering moving back to Seoul, said their attorney, Chris Manning, who spoke on their behalf. "They're out a lot of money, but more importantly, incredibly disenchanted with the system," Manning said. "This has destroyed their lives." The lawsuit was filed by a District of Columbia administrative hearings judge, Roy Pearson, who has been representing himself in the case.

The problem began in May 2005 when he brought one pair in for alterations and they went missing -- gray trousers with what Pearson described in court papers as blue and red stripes on them. First, Pearson demanded $1,150 for a new suit. Lawyers were hired, legal wrangling ensued and eventually the Chungs offered Pearson $3,000 in compensation. No dice. Then they offered him $4,600. No dice. Finally, they offered $12,000 for the missing gray trousers with the red and blue stripes. Pearson said no. With neither satisfaction nor his prized gray pants, Pearson upped the ante considerably. The judge went to the lawbooks. Citing the District of Columbia's consumer protection laws, he claims he is entitled to $1,500 per violation. Per day. What follows is the beginning of thousands of pages of legal documents and correspondence that, two years later, have led to a massive civil lawsuit in the amount of $67 million. According to court papers, here's how Pearson calculates the damages and legal fees: He believes he is entitled to $1,500 for each violation, each day during which the "Satisfaction Guaranteed" sign and another sign promising "Same Day Service" was up in the store -- more than 1,200 days. And he's multiplying each violation by three because he's suing Jin and Soo Chung and their son. He also wants $500,000 in emotional damages and $542, 500 in legal fees, even though he is representing himself in court. He wants $15,000 for 10 years' worth of weekend car rentals as well. "He's somehow purporting that he has a constitutional right to a dry cleaner within four blocks of his apartment," Manning said. Much of Pearson's case rests on two signs that Custom Cleaners once had on its walls: "Satisfaction Guaranteed" and "Same Day Service. Based on Pearson's dissatisfaction and the delay in getting back the pants, he claims the signs amount to fraud. He sought to expand the case into a class action suit, but was denied, angrily, by District of Columbia Civil Judge Neal Kravitz. "The Court has significant concerns that the plaintiff is acting in bad faith and with an intent to delay the proceedings," the judge wrote in court papers. "Indeed, it is difficult to draw any other conclusion, given the plaintiff's lengthy delay in seeking to expand the scope of the case, the breathtaking magnitude of the expansion he seeks, his failure to present any evidence in support of the thousands of claims he says he wishes to add, and his misrepresentation concerning the scope of his first amended complaint." The case will now be heard by another judge in June.

Sherman Joyce, president of the American Tort Association, has written a letter to the group of men who will decide this week whether to renew Pearson's 10-year appointment. Joyce is asking them to reconsider. Chief Administrative Judge Tyrone Butler had no comment regarding Pearson's reappointment. The association, which tries to police the kind of abusive lawsuits that hurt small businesses, also has offered to buy Pearson the suit of his choice. And former National Labors Relations Board chief administrative law judge Melvin Welles wrote to The Washington Post to urge "any bar to which Mr. Pearson belongs to immediately disbar him and the District to remove him from his position as an administrative law judge." "There has been a significant groundswell of support for the Chungs," said Manning, adding that plans for a defense fund Web site are in the works.

To the Chungs and their attorney, one of the most frustrating aspects of the case is their claim that Pearson's gray pants were found a week after Pearson dropped them off in 2005. They've been hanging in Manning's office for more than a year. Pearson claims in court documents that his pants had blue and red pinstripes. "They match his inseam measurements. The ticket on the pants match his receipt," Manning said. Manning is angry with Pearson, saying the judge has terrorized the Chungs for spite. "They came to the United States hoping for the American dream," Manning said, "and Roy Pearson has made it a nightmare."

The ABC News Law & Justice Unit has calculated that for $67 million Pearson could buy 84,115 new pairs of pants at the $800 value he placed on the missing trousers in court documents. If you stacked those pants up, they would be taller than eight Mount Everests. If you laid them side by side, they would stretch for 48 miles. [source]

I've written about how I absolutely despise frivolous lawsuits. They are incredibly detrimental to our society. "People in America are now scared of each other," legal expert Philip Howard told ABC News' Law & Justice Unit. "That's why teachers won't put an arm around a crying child, and doctors order unnecessary tests, and ministers won't meet with parishioners. It's a distrust of justice and it's changing our culture."

Monday, March 05, 2007

Questionable Quotes: Larry Birkhead

Larry Birkhead does well with many things: photographing celebrities, getting his little white peeps between Anna Nicole's legs, pursuing paternity lawsuits, testifying in court, garnering public support, maintaining his blonde highlights....but eulogizing the woman he "loved"...not so much. Here's an excerpt about what Larry had to say:

"Sometimes, when she was perceived to be the worst, she was actually the best. ... She was misunderstood in what she was in life and what she needed. I'll never forget one time, I saw her put something in her bag -- it was a ketchup packet. ... It's not because she couldn't afford it, [but] when I looked into the kitchen and saw all those ketchup packets, [I realized that they] represented security."

What the fuck? Security... like security that she'll never have a french fry without ketchup or security that she'll always have a ketchup packet to love her? This is just one of many reasons why ex-boyfriends shouldn't be allowed to speak at funerals. Ketchup packet talk has no place at a funeral...except for mine because I have a undying love for ketchup. Heinz only. I carry it with me at all times. When my sad day comes, Dino will give a eulogy about my love for ketchup, tell all of my ketchup stories, there will be a 57 gun salute and the guns will shoot Heinz ketchup into the air.

Thursday, February 01, 2007

QUOTE IT

People are Stupid with a Capital S

Authorities arrested a man in connection with electronic light boards depicting a middle-finger-waving moon man (pictured left) that triggered repeated bomb scares around Boston on Wednesday and prompted the closure of bridges and a stretch of the Charles River. Meanwhile, police and prosecutors vented their anger at Turner Broadcasting Inc., the parent company of CNN, which said the battery-operated light boards were aimed at promoting the late-night Adult Swim cartoon "Aqua Teen Hunger Force." Boston officials condemned Turner for not taking proper steps to end the bomb scares earlier and for not issuing an adequate apology to the city. Turner Broadcasting said in written statements the devices had been placed around Boston and nine other cities in recent weeks as part of a guerrilla marketing campaign to promote the show. "We apologize to the citizens of Boston that part of a marketing campaign was mistaken for a public danger," Phil Kent, CEO and chairman of Turner Broadcasting System Inc., said in one of two statements issued by the company. "As soon as we realized that an element of the campaign was being mistaken for something potentially dangerous, appropriate law enforcement officials were notified and through federal law enforcement channels, we identified the specific locations of the advertisements in all 10 cities in which they are posted. We also directed the third-party marketing firm who posted the advertisements to take them down immediately." [source]

Are they seriously serious? They were afraid of a Lite Brite? What the hell is this world coming to? This reminds me of a really stupid event that happened in the DC Metro area recently. During the middle of rush hour they shut down a crowded (yet totally not bomb worthy) section of the beltway because a 6 inch piece of pipe fell off a truck and someone thought it was a bomb. They sent a state-of-the-art bomb robot out to find out it was a 6 inch piece of plastic pipe that fell off a truck. Try explaining that to like 12 miles of bumper to bumper traffic. I generally don't like to think that I'm smarter than everyone and/or the world is full of idiots but seriously people...a Lite Brite and a 6 inch piece of plastic pipe. The terrorists are winning.