Couture du Jour: Mommy and Me - 2007?

A long, long time ago when I was a little girl, mommy and me clothes we generally hideous plaid jumpers from the JC Penney catalog. Fortunately my mom never bought into that crap. Since my childhood, children's fashion has advanced giving the next generations of girls the opportunities to not always look like a 47 year-old sunday school teacher from Missouri. On the flipside, girls now have endless opportunities to look like 12 year old American prostitutes.Paris Hilton, America's favorite coochie-flashing, jailbird, pornstar, socialite heiress, decided to design a woman's line for Kitson...and she has a mini-her in the same dress. I think she just found the only market she hasn't tapped yet. I mean really, the only places that dress would be appropriate for a child is in a tap dance recital or a dress-up box. After looking at Kitson's pictures of the collection, the kid is not only wearing the dress...she's also apparently sewing them herself in a back alley LA sweatshop. Truly hideous clothing. It doesn't even photograph well. Seriously, they should've Photoshopped the whole collection. This shirt reminds me of a windsock I made in middle school home ec. class. I bet they sell better quality stuff at Fashion Bug. Paris is donating some of the proceeds to LA's Children's Hospital. She's no Paul Newman thought...only 10% of the proceeds from the $70 poly-blend shirts will be going to the hospital.

YOUR 15 MINUTES: Bitch. You Nasty.

The other night, we made soup at our house, and in that soup we put some chicken. The dumbass who added the chicken left the spare chicken parts in the trash can so it could stew overnight, and in the morning, the entire kitchen smelled like poor Anna Nicole's unclaimed corpse. Ann Biglan of Yarmouth knows all about this sort of thing.

According to police, there was so much trash inside 53-year-old Ann Biglan's Ford Focus, it completely filled the inside from the floor to the ceiling front and back.

The copious amounts of trash apparently caused a CRASH. Biglan told police several old coffee cups and pieces of trash fell onto the gas and brake pedal, which caused her to lose control while backing out of a parking space near the West Yarmouth Post Office.

The Focus picked up speed, drove over a curb, across Route 28, hit a Ford Explorer and backed over a sidewalk. Biglan's car finally came to a rest after crashing into a flowerpot in the parking lot of the West Yarmouth Mobil gas station.

Apparently, her house is the same. Right now, there is no way in or out of her house. There is so much stuff inside the home, the front door is bowed out. In the end, police helped Ann move out of her home because they don't think the house and Ann are safe. The house is in such bad shape, town officials and the Health Department plan to take steps to have it condemned.

Bravo, Ann.

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