One Diva-Damning Blind Vice

Hell hath no fury like a homo threatened, that's fer sure. A few weeks ago I told you all about Jiggly Wiggle-Poof, this queen America is so busy watching be outwardly hetero but inwardly so "show tunes and smart cocktails" it's pathetic. See, Jiggly got his rise to fame via sexual and other transactions with a well-heeled, fellow-closeted homo, a fact Mr. Wiggle-Poof goes to great lengths to hide.

However, over at the Hollywood offering on which Mr. Wiggle-P. performs, there lies another pooftah who's far less caring about his sexuality. Name's Press Prune. In fact, Press could give a Homo Depot clerk's ass if anybody discusses his bedroom habits, just for the record. This bothers Jiggly enormously. See, Mr. Wiggle-Poof, an ultimately rather small-minded and unimaginative nerd, is so busy imagining the zillions of slights he thinks Mr. Prune is busy concocting against him he's not bothered to notice Press has done activities far worse than J. could dare imagine--as in nothing. Press doesn't give a whit for Poof, one way or the other. Who cares?

Jiggly, that's who. So much so that Jiggly, frantic and rageful, cried to the guns that control his and Press' shared booby-tubey offering, just to see to it that P2 is punished. Didn't work. Wonder why?

It's not:

Here's who Ted ruled out as Jiggly Wiggle-Poof:

Celebhijinx guess for Jiggly Wiggle-Poof a few weeks ago: oldwiseone almost gave me a little virtual bitch slap for not immediately thinking JWP is Ryan Seacrest. Of course I agreed after I saw the light! I also mentioned something to the effect of the JWP story as the beginning of a new character with additional stories to follow in the future. Fast forward to now -- additional story. Who do I think Press Prune is? The one and only Ted Casablanca, of course.