PEOPLE's Sexiest Gay Bachelor Alive

Need a reason to drink tonight?

Matthew McConaughey and Penelope Cruz have called it quits. Yawn.

It's time for her to use her magical beard powers on another in-the-closet Hollywood gay. I just wish they'd deal with it - he can be gay, she can be a lesbian and the world would be a better place. Just for a little added boredom, here's their blah blah joint statment:

"[We] have decided to take time off as a couple. Due to busy work schedules and so much time apart, [we] mutually decided four weeks ago that separating was the best thing to do at this time." [source]