That Bitch Stole My Money

You know, sometimes dreams shatter into tiny shards of glass that dig into my very core. DRAMA, right?

Well, in some ways, Kathy Griffin's divorce from Matthew Moline is like that dream that shattered, and my heart is bleeding to death now. Meow meow sad, meow meow.

He used to do her hair. Now, that is love my friends.

And, while Kathy thought Matthew was attaching the diffuser, he was actually at the ATM machine making withdrawals that totaled $72,000.

"My ex-husband, without my knowledge, was sneaking into my wallet when I was asleep in the mornings and taking my ATM cards of my own private accounts and withdrawing money," Griffin said. She failed to mention if the drapes match the carpet. Why that has any relevance here, I'm not sure.

Griffin, the star of Bravo's Emmy-nominated reality series My Life on the D-List, told King that Moline "admitted it and apologized" and that the twosome tried couples therapy.

"I really wanted to make it work," she said. But she said that the deception permanently changed her view of Moline. "Unfortunately, we [were not] able to get beyond the trust issue."

The following is a statement Matthew Moline made right after the divorce, read by none other than Larry McNasty King:

"Since our divorce, I have not made any public comments about my ex-wife or our marriage," Moline's statement said. "It saddens me that she would choose to make such accusations at this time. I have no intention of engaging in a public debate over private matters."

Yeah, you fucking loser. You stole you're wife's money, you're bald, and you U.G.L.Y.

And for that, sir, you have no alibi.

Please click here to see the clip courtesy of The Malcontent.