Two Tush-Trying Blind Vices

That Toothy Tile. He just lives to push the fagola envelope, love that about the young acting hunk! (And I know you do, too.) Now, quite frankly, T2's latest man-on-man moves far outshine his recent movie choices; though, that's an arguable statement at best—I just don't go fer this hetero image Mr. T. is busy trying to push over on his ever loyal, hapless, ticket-buying fans.
But we'll just leave that li'l bit o' politically incorrect poo-pooing and get straight, as it were, to the attempted wild sex in the back of the limousine, 'kay? Thought you might agree...

Oh, gawd, I am getting old. I'm confusing all these closeted fruits into one big ass-banging aspic! So, sorry. It was Jiggly Wiggle-Poof who pounced—quite stupidly, I might add—on his so-not-gay limo driver while out promoting his supersuccessful boob-tube show in some hick state. And let's just say what went down was not at all what Jiggly had in mind (something bruised, not blushing).

Also, there's hope, I want you all to know, for Mr. Tile's movie career. Dare I say some of his future film projects are looking up, because, uh, how can I put this? T.T. has decided to start sleeping with better-looking people now to get his future projects—is that being too crass about it all? In other words, for T.T.'s next 40-foot-wide job, Tooth-doll not only seduced the man who would decide the whole-deal shebang (it's sort of a studly adventure story, in so many ways), he now shares cocaine, hotel suites and party favors with the bigwig. Isn't that sweet when one can stay bestest amigos with one's ladder-climbing bed partners?

Warms my jaded-ass heart.

...and it ain't: Here's who Ted ruled out in other Wiggly Jiggle-Poof BV's:

Celebrity Hijinx previous guesses:

Oldwiseone and I finally agreed that it miiiiiight be Ryan Seacrest about two Jiggly Wiggly-Poof posts ago. That was only after I blamed Chad Michael Murray, Ashton Kutcher and even Ted Casablanca himself. Oh, and Toothy Tile is Jake Gyllenhaal...everyone knows that.