Pretty Sad News

After almost four years together, Cameron Diaz and Justin Timberlake have called it quits, the couple said in a statement last night.

"It has always been our preference not to comment on the status of our relationship, but, out of respect for the time we've spent together, we feel compelled to do so now, in light of recent speculation and the number of inaccurate stories that are being reported by the media," the two said. "We have, in fact, ended our romantic relationship, and have done so mutually and as friends, with continued love and respect for one another."

I, for one, was a believer in this one. That said, this is so three days ago. In fact, so three years ago. Move over Cameron acne-scarred-gangle-puss Diaz. You're a cougar, now. Go live among other old women of your kind, and leave the young, handsome, just-add-beer-bisexual-party-starters to me. I can handle it from here. Thanks.

[source]