Couture du Jour: Move Over Carrie Bradshaw, There's A New Writer in Town

Mary Kate Olsen simultaneously wasted 2 minutes of my life and displayed her reason for dropping out of college via the NY Times this past weekend. Apparently someone at the NY Times thought a former child star who dresses like a bag lady and was educated by an on-set tutor would make a fabulous fashion writer. Without further ado, here is that writer:

Timeless
Brand Loyalty

By MARY-KATE OLSEN

I have a large, red quilted Chanel bag that I borrowed from my sister Ashley. I wore it to an event and never gave it back. Luckily, she's moved on to another bag, so I'm safe for now. I'm not quite sure how many bags I have, but let's just say I have a few. When I find a bag I like, I tend to wear it to death until I become obsessed with another one. This probably happens three to five times a year. But I always come back to the Chanel. The size isn't overwhelming, and it has enough subtle detail to keep it interesting. I also have the smaller version in blue and in white, but the red is definitely my favorite. I don't have a stylist — I'd rather just do my own thing and put together my own outfits. The chain-handle bag is the perfect accent to almost any combination I come up with. I look at everything with a designer's eye, but I wouldn't change a thing about this bag. I think that's why it's a true classic. [source]

Easy folks, this is the edited version. Before Ashley’s late-night proofreading it looked like this:

I’m Mary Kate Olsen and I took a red Chanel bag from my sister’s closet. Her name is Ashley Olsen. We're twins. Not identical ones. It’s a pretty bag. It matches the soles of all my Christian Louboutin shoes. My sister’s closet is big. The bag is red. It’s not very big. My sister has a smaller version. It’s mine now because I also stole it off her when she was out at a club one night. We’re not old enough to legally drink yet. But we do anyway. I don’t have a stylist. The bag is pretty. I have lots of money for bags.