Friday, June 22, 2007

One Needling Blind Vice

Some people love Fake-à-la Ferocity...the rest live to hate her. This do-it-all diva, known to dabble in everything from fab sex to fabber shoes, has her hand in purty much everything these days. Endorsements. Charitable endeavors. Entertainment projects. You name it. And all the wowin' while, Fake-à-la manages to look super-duper delish in the process. Well, she used to, at least.

Lately, F2's once enviable bod has changed for the worse. And her hunky man isn't the only person concerned about the once divinely gifted babe. Nope, now a very few inside Industry types are also concerned 'bout our gal Fakey. See, F.F. has enjoyed a fairly good reputation in the media and rags...until recently. She's known for being accessible, candid and honest. How very friggin' heretical here in lip-cemented T-town! Apparently, Ms. Ef's hiding one helluva secret. And I'm the bitch to fill ya in on what, exactly, it is that has those select few Hollywood movers 'n' shakers so shaking in their Prada wear, regarding Fakey. She's got what's known as...a heroin habit.

Well, she's hardly the first dame in this drug-infested enclave to fall down that slippery alley, right? It's just, uh, so damn rich to find this out, knowing how utterly benevolent our do-goodin' broad happens to be as of late. Gosh, wonder how long before everyone finds out what's really behind Fake-à-la's rapidly withering figure? It'll be "Paris who?" should that happen, trust. It ain't: Jessica Biel, Kelly Ripa or Kiera Knightley It probably is: Angelina Jolie? She used to do heroin in her younger years. She's super skinny. It would be a huge scandal. She used to be sexy. She's into charitable endeavors and entertainment projects. She has a hunky man. Her mother just passed away which is a huge stressor. ...if the needle fits.


Anonymous said...

Angelina for sure! She just had a falling out w/the media last skeletal..used to have a heroin addiction...and is Mrs Queen Bee charity lady. and has a hunky husband. ooo...i cant wait for THIS E True Hollywood Story! Maybe this is why brads mom was visiting jennifer anniston the other day????

OldWiseOne said...

It sounds like Angelina for sure, but is that too obvious? I'll believe it if Ted doesn't rule her out in next week's mailbag.

That whole "Paris who?" business at the end makes me think it is someone more obviously famewhore-ish than Angelina, but I can't come up with a guess.