Lindsay is in Rehab, Mom Still in Denial.

After Lindsay released her statement via her rep, her attention whore mom Dina told Star: "I’m so proud of her. She’s really in a good place right now, spiritually and mentally. She’s in an amazing, phenomenal place. She’s 20 and she’s solid, and she’s doing what she needs to do. I don’t know that many people who are that secure. It’s all about her, and getting back on track. She’s fine — she’s amazingly fine."

Could her horrible, idiotic, abnormal, deluded mother use any more strangely inappropriate, ridiculous, absurd adjectives to describe this long-overdue, embarrassing event? I don’t know many women who would be proud that their 20 year-old daughter is going to rehab. Trips to rehab must be like graduating college in the eyes of the Lohans. Let’s take a moment to perform a dissection on her eloquent, maniacal statement.

Dina: I’m so proud of her.
Xine: I’d be proud too. Rehab at 20. It takes a true Lohan crackhead to accomplish that.
Dina: She’s really in a good place right now, spiritually and mentally.
Xine: A really good place for quitters, maybe.
Dina: She’s in an amazing, phenomenal place.
Xine: Gee, I never really thought of ‘withdrawal’ as a really good spiritual and mental place but whatever floats your boat. Unless you’re talking about her physical place which is a $1,700 a night rehab facility which could be pretty sweet if you’re into that kind of vacation.
Dina: She’s 20 and she’s solid,
Xine: Bitch, what are you talking about? What the hell kind of ‘solid’ person goes to rehab.
Dina: and she’s doing what she needs to do.
Xine: You forgot to end your sentence. You meant to say “and she’s doing what she needs to do so that the studios don’t fire her ass and I don’t lose my cash flow.”
Dina: I don’t know that many people who are that secure.
Xine: Well I hear you’re pretty secure – wearing fuck me boots and a short dress well letting some old man feel your cooter during dinner.
Dina: It’s all about her, and getting back on track.
Xine: …and getting rid of the track marks.
Dina: She’s fine — she’s amazingly fine."
Xine: Dina, seriously. Lay off the denial. Amazingly fine people don’t go to rehab. That’s the kind of bad-mommy talk that got her there in the first place. You need to do a big old line of motherhood followed by a couple of reality-tinis. The end.