Help!

I'm going to address Britney for a second and then I'm done again for a while. I have the unique experience of previously working at an inpatient psychiatric hospital, understanding individuals with significant substance abuse/MH problems and having aemotions bipolar friend who I've personally gone through a gamut of with (including crazy impulsive tattooing, off-the-wall behavior, extreme spending, weird outfits that were more like costumes)...I'm going to tell you that Britney's current behavior is not normal. Brilliant, xine, brilliant! If only she had friends more friends like you. Anyway, I tend to stay away from topics that deal specifically with an individual's mental health issues and medication as opposed to just good, old-fashioned, fun n'wild substance abuse... So, on celebhijinx.com, Britney Spears is no longer a laughing matter until I say so. Look at me, acting all Judge Larry Seidlin on your asses. Go find Britney shit somewhere else, k?

***QUICK UPDATE**** Ok this is technically in the same post and I'm not laughing so this additional stuff about Britney doesn't count: K-Fed has asked for an emergency custody hearing today.

As Britney Spears was reportedly checking out of a drug rehabilitation center for the second time in a week, her estranged husband was making plans to go to court amid a custody dispute over their two children. Kevin Federline and his lawyer were scheduled to appear at a downtown courthouse Thursday for an emergency hearing, Superior Court spokesman Allan Parachini told The Associated Press. "Our best information is he will be here; she won't," said Parachini. "But anything is possible." It was not known what issues Federline planned to raise.Federline and Spears have two sons, 5-month-old Jayden James and 17-month-old Sean Preston. Federline filed papers seeking spousal support and sole custody of the children after Spears sought to end their two-year marriage last November. A temporary court order issued February 1 granted the couple joint custody until the end of this month. Parachini said Federline's lawyer would try to convince a Superior Court commissioner that the matter is urgent enough to be handled quickly. [source]

The girl really has a lot to deal with - she's obviously hurting, her kids are in danger of being repossessed by K-Fed and it's all happening in the public eye. She better buy herself a support system QUICKLY.

***MORE*** Ok, I'm back for more. I'm a big liar who can't stop writing about Britney. Technically, this is about substance abuse and I'm still not laughing. I'm also defending her a little, does that count?

Which hard-partying celeb takes her escapades well into the next morning? Sources saw her snorting lines at 10 a.m., but the real problem isn’t coke - waitresses at Privilege overheard her demanding “meth” from her friends.

Why would someone just ask for "meth" from their friends? That doesn't even make sense. It's like sitting around the dinner table and asking "Excuse me, could you please pass the cocaine?" Don't you think she'd at least have a special code word. You know like amp, crank, crystal, ice, bitch, tina, glass, go fast, motivation, tweak, pepsi...or something to that effect...

***STILL MORE*** Britney went back to rehab again for at least 30-45 days. Third time...charm. The emergency child custody hearing (that was likely prompted by last night's crazed umbrella attack of a paparazzi's SUV outside K-Fed's house) is off as long as she stays in rehab. K-Fed currently has the kids. Let's hope she can get her pupils and her life back under control. Now seriously, let's all leave her alone so she can heal.