A Message From Kevin Federline + Parenting Advice Bonus

Gimme More - Video

Give Us More. As In Like Effort.

Couture du Jour: The Double White Purse

Big, white purses are hot. While they're not the most durable, practical choice in the world (unless you're a celebrity and can afford a new one everyday) they're still fashionable. Not wearing white after Labor Day died a while ago. Angelina decided to show off her new white purse by buying daughter Zahara a mommy-n-me version while supposed comeback queen Britney just decided to carry two matching ones. Ok..ok...Britney actually bough one for her and one for Alli but that's basically just as weird as carrying two at the same time.

Britneypalooza

Well, it's been a week defined by leakage, so say the very least. "Gimme More," which you can listen to by clicking here, was the first Britney Spears song to leak, and now there are THREE MORE. Who knows if these songs will even make it on the actual album, but fuck, might as well use them to judge the potential quality of her upcoming cd.







Let me know what chu think.

GIMME MORE

New Music: Britney Spears: Gimme More

Ryan Seacrest played an unidentified new song on his show today (it appears to be an unofficial leak and may not even be finished), and now it's streaming over at Perez Hilton. The verdict? Xine and I have decided that this is Britney's comeback song. Agreed?

NOTE FROM XINE: It's NOW available on Brit's myspace.

Stream:> Britney Spears: New Song

Who Would You Rather Have As Your Mom?

Britney Spears
Age: 25
Claim to fame: Multi-millionaire world-famous pop star
Net Worth: Possibly in excess of $100million
Baby Daddy: Kevin Federline – professional sperm donor/unemployed dancer
Parenting Skills:

• Does not like to properly use safety seats/high chairs
• Drops children
• Wants to bleach her babies’ teeth
• Being investigated for child abuse
• Recently investigated for animal abuse
• Recent trip to rehab
• Flashes private parts
• Car accident
• Late night partying
• Strange, revealing unmatching outfits
• Apparently promiscuous
  
• Started dating a man while he had a pregnant girlfriend
• Reports of drug use including cocaine and ecstasy
• Reports of excessive drinking and possibly some drinking while pregnant
  

Dina Lohan
Age: 44
Claim to fame: Pimping out her daughter to the movie industry
Net Worth: Whatever she makes off her daughter's dying career
Baby daddy: Michael Lohan – serial felon, substance abuser, now works for God
Parenting Skills:

• Does not obey court order to allow father to see children
• Daughter in rehab 3 times this year following 2 DUIs and cocaine possession
• New boyfriend is a drunk and a rapist
• Habitual liar and manipulator
• Puts money before children’s welfare – daughter is cash cow
• Uses cocaine
• Had 6 DUIs
• Crashed her car and left the scene
• Was recently seen at Kobe club in a"really short dress and boots," A guy sitting next to Dina was "all over her." "Dina had a napkin in her lap and hiked up her dress," the source says. "The guy put his hand under her napkin . . . It went on for like five minutes."
• Supposedly drinks and does drugs with her daughter.
• Has been seen out partying with her underage daughter.
• Lied about being a former Rockette
• Speaks openly to the press about personal family items and often does not make sense and/or is in a serious state of denial
  

Excuse me MISS, YOUR *** is Showing...

Ummmm, maybe someone should tell Miss Spears that it is great if you want to wear your favorite shirt out for a day filled with shopping, but maybe, just maybe include your shirt with some jeans...

Next Time She Won't Have To Shave It. It Will Just Fall Out.

Someone is starting to look normal again! One time in college I went from brown hair to white blonde to black to brown to white blonde again in like a matter of weeks and then my hair fell out. Seriously, it broke off at about 3 or 4 inches. It was awful. In Brit's case, she probably doesn't even have 3-4 inches of the real stuff. Anyway, does anyone know if it's comeback season yet? I'm really getting impatient.

BREAKING NEWS: Britney has a new song

Lately there has been a number of false leaks of shitty Brit demos but Ryan Seacrest played one this morning and it might be the real deal. I actually don't think it's horrific. I would probably listen to it at home at night with a glass of wine, possibly shave off my hair and then cry myself to sleep. Click here to listen.

Nancy Grace and Britney Spears = BFF

Britney's Fender-Bender

You read all about it yesterday.

Now it’s time to view video Britney Spears’ tragic car accident with a parked car yesterday. Hey, how’d that get there?!

Perhaps if Brit Brit avoided driving with one hand on the steering wheel and one hand holding her puppy, such needless smash and dash incidents would not occur.

QUOTE IT!

Britney Cares About You And Your Weight

Even though her kids were crying and screaming just inches away, Britney Spears took time to express her concern about the paparazzi this weekend. Using a shame-based technique, she invited them to begin a regimen of healthy diet and exercise. Britney said:

"Hey baby, when are you going to get on a diet? Have you ever tried weight watchers, you fat fuck. Why don't you run, you need to fuckin jog, you pussy. Yeah, run, run bitch."

The thing I don't understand here is that it looks like they pull into the parking lot of a "Beds Etc.," she gets out with a bodyguard, and stands there with her phone allowing them to take a few pictures. All the sudden, the papparazzi just leave. Ain't nuffin to see here, folks!

Quote It!

I Vote "OMG is like Lindsay Lohan like ok like" as Britney Spears' New Album Title

I don't know if Britney Spears' website was hacked, she thinks she has a sense of humor or she's still in the midst of a breakdown. The site starts off with a quote "You'll Never See it My Way, Because You're Not Me." Poetic. Then she wants her fans to help name her new album. The options are:

1. OMG is like Lindsay Lohan like Ok like
2. What if the Joke is on you
3. Down boy
4. Integrity
5. Dignity
   

You have to pay to vote. Meanwhile, her mom is talking to the tabs: "Everything is going to be good," Lynne Spears tells the magazine. "Everything is going to be really good. I can see her life picking up and it's just going to hold great things for her." "Britney Jean Spears is the sweetest and the most sensitive and loving of all my children," says Spears. "She's just figuring things out." So Brian and Jamie Lynn are just petulant, invulnerable, hateful little creatures. I mean, they don't even show their private parts in public.

She Did It Again

Britney Spears achieved a lady-part-exposing trifecta this week while hitting the clubs. Such a magical sight.

Broken Promises

Britney Spears was out and about clubbing last night. She flashed 1/8 of a nip and her pantied-ass. You guess the substance:

QUOTE IT!

Cottage cheese with those buns?

Celebrity Clone: Brit vs. Mini Brit

Britney Spears has a mini-her who has been gaining a bit of attention for performing Britney's songs. The problem: Mini Brit (Terra) actually sings the songs and has reportedly inked a six-figure deal to perform her 45-minute routine at Jeff Beacher's Madhouse in the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino starting this weekend. The only publicity regular Brit generated recently includes: refusing to fly because the commercial jet didn't have leather seats - delaying the flight for an hour, lipsynching to a skipping track at Orlando's House of Blues, showing off the world's rattiest weave and being made fun of by Madonna's brother and a bunch of trannies. I'm not going to lie, I still want a major comeback.