Thursday, August 30, 2007

Who Would You Rather Have As Your Mom?

Britney Spears
Age: 25
Claim to fame: Multi-millionaire world-famous pop star
Net Worth: Possibly in excess of $100million
Baby Daddy: Kevin Federline – professional sperm donor/unemployed dancer
Parenting Skills:

  • Does not like to properly use safety seats/high chairs
  • Drops children
  • Wants to bleach her babies’ teeth
  • Being investigated for child abuse
  • Recently investigated for animal abuse
  • Recent trip to rehab
  • Flashes private parts
  • Car accident
  • Late night partying
  • Strange, revealing unmatching outfits
  • Apparently promiscuous
  • Started dating a man while he had a pregnant girlfriend
  • Reports of drug use including cocaine and ecstasy
  • Reports of excessive drinking and possibly some drinking while pregnant

Dina Lohan
Age: 44
Claim to fame: Pimping out her daughter to the movie industry
Net Worth: Whatever she makes off her daughter's dying career
Baby daddy: Michael Lohan – serial felon, substance abuser, now works for God
Parenting Skills:

  • Does not obey court order to allow father to see children
  • Daughter in rehab 3 times this year following 2 DUIs and cocaine possession
  • New boyfriend is a drunk and a rapist
  • Habitual liar and manipulator
  • Puts money before children’s welfare – daughter is cash cow
  • Uses cocaine
  • Had 6 DUIs
  • Crashed her car and left the scene
  • Was recently seen at Kobe club in a"really short dress and boots," A guy sitting next to Dina was "all over her." "Dina had a napkin in her lap and hiked up her dress," the source says. "The guy put his hand under her napkin . . . It went on for like five minutes."
  • Supposedly drinks and does drugs with her daughter.
  • Has been seen out partying with her underage daughter.
  • Lied about being a former Rockette
  • Speaks openly to the press about personal family items and often does not make sense and/or is in a serious state of denial

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