John Stamos is having whatever Paula Abdul had...

Paula Abdul Breaks Nose After Tripping Over Her Fat Ass Chihuahua which is ironically also known as "The Smallest Breed of Dog in The World"

One of these 4 stories was undeniably a freak accident.

Guess the freak accident:

Paula Abdul broke her nose over the weekend after she fell while trying to avoid stepping on her Chihuahua, her publicist said Monday. "I took a nasty fall ... trying not to hurt my dog. I bruised myself on my arm ... my chest, my waist all the way down to my hip. All from my little chubby Tulip," Abdul said. No dogs were injured during the incident.

This is like the time Lindsay Lohan was preparing breakfast with eggs and everything that she was going up the stairs carrying a ceramic teacup. She had just come out of the shower so she was still wet and had some lotion on and she completely slipped on the stairs since it was slippery. The teacup went flying, it shattered and one of the pieces cut Lindsay forcing her to go to the ER. Or the time David Hasselhoff had surgery after severing a tendon in his right arm in a freak accident in a London gym bathroom when he was shaving and hit his head on a chandelier, showering his arm with broken glass. Or the time I accidentally superglued my eye shut trying to fix an acrylic nail while talking on the phone and they had to cut off my eyelashes and slice my eye back open then scrape the contact off my eye (because it was also superglued to my eye) so I ended up spending the night in the hospital on morphine and had to wear an eye patch for a few weeks.

Sanjaya Bids Sionara

Sanjaya Malakar, the singer who horrified and captivated millions in his improbable "American Idol" run, was finally voted off the show Wednesday night. When the result was announced, Malakar wiped away tears and got a big hug from LaKisha Jones, the next lowest vote-getter. "I'm fine," he told Ryan Seacrest. "It was an amazing experience."

"I can promise you: We won't soon forget you," Seacrest replied.

Sanjaya then performed one last song, "Something To Talk About." Let's talk about how I never understood the whole Sanjaya phenomenon. I have questions, people. Do some think he's gay? Did someone out there actually think they could throw American Idol, or better yet, did anyone in America actually think Sanjaya could sing?

AAAAnd... now that he's been booted from AI, Paula I'm-Definately-On-Painkillers Abdul could care less about the effeminate chanteuse.

TMZ caught the loopy "Idol" judge outside Mr. Chow last night, where she went to chow down after the results show, in which the Sanjaya the Ponyhawked Wonder got the ax. When asked her feelings on his exile, Abdul wasn't exactly sympathetic, brushing off the question with a "Oh he'll be fine," and proceeded to sign photos for waiting autograph hounds.

Someone get that crazy bitch a Percocet.

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