Xine's Update For Today

I thought today was going to be a produtive blog day for me considering I started off my morning with a conversation in which I psychoanalyzed Dino's nipples. Alas, it didn't work out that well. So, I'm going to cover a few random things in one nice, little blog entry:

1. My laptop died. This is my second laptop death this year leaving me only with a desktop at home and a desktop at work - both of which are not blog-friendly. This time my Dell laptop kicked it. I received the blue screen of death (pictured below). If anyone knows how to help me, it would be much appreciated. A magical incentive is that once the laptop is fixed, I will post more often.2. Some genius at the Diet Pepsi factory innovated Diet Pepsi Max - Invigorating Cola like a month ago. I swear it just made it to the Diet Pepsi shelf at my grocery store yesterday. Trust me, I'm like a hawk. Anyway, it has twice the caffeine of regular Diet Pepsi. It also includes ginseng so I'm now able to categorize my out-of-control Diet Pepsi addiction as "healthy,"right? Really, in my world this is Nobel Peace Prize-worthy. Or at least a runner-up on American Inventor. Go buy it. Stop wasting your money on Red Bull. This will give you wings for about 50 cents and it doesn't taste like medicine. 3. Last but not least, Nicole Richie is still carrying stuff in front of her stomach while neither publicly confirming or denying a pregnancy. This leads me to believe she's knocked up. Rumor has it the baby will be named Publicity.....I mean Felicity.

Anorexia Chronicles: It's Called Bloat

I hate to say it but Nicole Richie needs a Playtex 18Hr Gel Comfort Underwire bra and some support hose. I've never seen something so small look so saggy - under the age of 78.

PS.
Dear National Enquirer,
You have to be completely retarded (and I never use that word) to think that Nicole Richie is pregnant in that picture. She's obviously bloated from malnutrition. I doubt she's even had a period in the past 3.8 years. I bet an obese man wrote that headline. For more accurate stores, I recommend you fire him and hire a skinny woman. A really skinny woman who knows all about anorexia, drug abuse and cheating. Seriously.

Love,
xine

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Paris Hilton Likes Drugs by Courtney Love

I don't know why Courtney Love and her daughter, Francis Bean, decided to go to one of the 6,923 parties celebrating Paris Hilton's 26th birthday but they probably should've just stayed home. Courtney already made the gossip news for two incidents stemming from the party:

• Brandon Davis groping/grabbing/greasing on her and saying "I want to squirt on you".... in front of her young daughter.
• Pissing off Karl Lagerfeld by wearing a dress that is an exact replica of one that walked down the runway recently - but isn't for sale yet.

Now Courtney claims drugs were readily available at the party. Why would she say this out loud? She's revealed she saw a pile of "white powder" in the rest room at the Beverly Hills restaurant The Prime Grill. Do I need to remind you that her daughter was there? If you're Courtney Love I'd think even LOOKING at a pile of white powder would be against the lifelong probation she's likely sentenced to. Speaking of child endangerment, Paris and Nicole are working as camp counselors in the latest installment of their reality show that nobody watches. As Dino reported earlier in the week- to commence shooting, Nicole collapsed on set due to 'dehydration' and had to go to the ER for a snack. So you have a known druggy racist slut (who allows kids and drugs at the same party) and a girl who can’t remember to eat or drink …why not just hire Michael Jackson as a co-star and call it Camp KiddieTrama. On a side note: why can’t Brandon Davis mistake Paris and Nicole’s squawking for actual chickens and accidentally eat them after one of his all-night alcohol/drugs/obscenity binges. Mmmm. Me greasy bear. Me hungry. It's a strange day when Courtney Love comes out of a drug story looking better than the other individuals involved. [source]

Which Hollywood Starlet was Dehydrated This Week?

Nicole Richie. She was briefly hospitalized for dehydration Friday after falling ill while filming The Simple Life.

According to E! Online, Nicole was examined by a doctor on the set of The Simple Life and then taken to a nearby hospital, where she was given intravenous fluids for 15 minutes before being released.

"Nicole is home resting and will return to work this evening," her rep said in a statement. "We are proud of the weight that Nicole is gaining and her focus on her health."

Back in October, Nicole told the world that she seeking treatment for what her rep described as an inability to put on weight. Here is where my own personal acid trip begins... who in god's name is unable to put on weight? I mean, a really bad case of dysentery or a tape worm, I could understand. I'd be unable to put on weight too if I weren't eating.

"She is working with a team of doctors and specialists whose focus is nutrition," her rep told PEOPLE in a statement. "It is important to Nicole that she achieves this goal in a healthy way as this is not a treatment for an eating disorder." Um, OK.

A month later, friends said they saw an improvement, with one source close to Richie telling PEOPLE, "She has [put on] at least 5 lbs. She wants to prove she's trying to change."

[source]