YOUR 15 MINUTES: Fire In My Pants (not talking about a yeast infection).

Ok. I suck at blogging lately. I promise I will return to my old non-stop-blogging self soon. Please forgive me because I have a story for you:

The new iPod Nano is hot. But one Douglasville man said his old Nano got even hotter -- hot enough to burst into flames. "So I look down and I see flames coming up to my chest," said Danny Williams. Williams said the burn hole from the pocket of his pants marks the spot of his 15 seconds of flame. He said he had an iPod Nano and an glossy piece of paper in his pocket. He believes the paper shielded him from being burned. "I'm still kind of freaked out that after only a year and a half my iPod caught fire in my pocket," said Williams. The iPod uses a lithium ion battery -- the same type of battery under recall for setting laptops on fire. Williams said the fact is iPod Nano burst into flames while he was at work was bad enough, where he works could have been another issue. He works at a kiosk in Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport. "If TSA had come by and seen me smoking, they could have honestly thought I was a terrorist," said Williams.

HOT POCKET!

iPod nano: the latest trend in IEDs. Ok IED's aren't funny but still...I wish my iPod would catch on fire at work so I could leave early. Totally an excuse I haven't used yet!

Hacker Wanted: Reward - A New Car

The teenage hacker who managed to unlock the iPhone so that it can be used with cellular networks other than AT&T will be trading his reworked gadget for a new car.

George Hotz, of Glen Rock, New Jersey, said he had reached the deal with CertiCell, a Louisville, Kentucky-based mobile phone repair company. Hotz posted on his blog that he traded his modified iPhone for "a sweet Nissan 350Z and 3 8GB iPhones." "This has been a great end to a great summer," Hotz wrote. The 17-year-old Hotz said he will be sending the three new iPhones to the three online collaborators who helped him divorce Apple Inc's popular product from AT&T's network. The job took 500 hours, or about 8 hours a day since the iPhone's June 29 launch. Hotz made the deal with Terry Daidone, co-founder of CertiCell, who also promised the teen a paid consulting job. "We do not have any plans on the table right now to commercialize Mr. Hotz' discovery," Daidone said in a statement. [source]

Lucky sonofabitch. I'll take apart my stupid pink razr if someone wants to give me a car and a new job. Hell, I'll do a lot more than just take apart a phone. In fact, I'd do just about anything to have someone just give me a new car. Bob Barker was probably my best bet. I guess I'll have to ask Drew Carey now....

Wrong Number.

Are you there God, it's me xine. Why...why couldn't this happen to me?

For months, Shira Barlow's cell phone was flooded with wrong-number calls and text messages, mostly between 2 and 4 a.m. on weekends. Told they had reached a college student, callers refused to believe it. "Baby girl, how are you?" one man purred in a foreign accent. "Why are you doing this?" a woman asked. "This is so rude." And there were several seemingly random references to "Paris." As in Paris Hilton.

Barlow's story began on Valentine's Day during a night out with friends. She was carrying her phone in a back pocket when it fell into a toilet. When she replaced it, her wireless company insisted on assigning the San Francisco native a new number with a 310 area code rather than 415. Barlow had been given a recycled phone number that used to be Hilton's. The practice stems from efforts to conserve phone numbers to minimize area-code splitting.

Just after Barlow got her new phone close to Hilton's February 17 birthday, a flurry of calls and texts arrived. "Oh my God," one caller said. "Where's the party?" Then came the day Hilton was sentenced to jail after violating probation in an alcohol-related reckless driving case. Messages about parties were replaced by dozens expressing condolences. "People were scared for her," Barlow said. The phone traffic trailed off when Hilton entered jail last month. But when Hilton was released, a new crop of messages flooded in. "It's disgusting how they treated you in there, but once again you have showed the world that you can do anything," one wrote. Barlow said she has resisted the temptation to pose as Hilton to get into exclusive parties. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!? - You'd either have to be dumb, fat or REALLY REALLY into college to resist that!!! But she did message supporters "thanks so much," believing Hilton would appreciate it. Barlow plans to keep the number because she says it has been a greater source of amusement than a hassle. "It was really out of convenience," she added. "I didn't want to switch again." [source]

I would've had so much more fun with this! ...and I know a little prankster named Dan who would've had even more fun.

Xine's Update For Today

I thought today was going to be a produtive blog day for me considering I started off my morning with a conversation in which I psychoanalyzed Dino's nipples. Alas, it didn't work out that well. So, I'm going to cover a few random things in one nice, little blog entry:

1. My laptop died. This is my second laptop death this year leaving me only with a desktop at home and a desktop at work - both of which are not blog-friendly. This time my Dell laptop kicked it. I received the blue screen of death (pictured below). If anyone knows how to help me, it would be much appreciated. A magical incentive is that once the laptop is fixed, I will post more often.2. Some genius at the Diet Pepsi factory innovated Diet Pepsi Max - Invigorating Cola like a month ago. I swear it just made it to the Diet Pepsi shelf at my grocery store yesterday. Trust me, I'm like a hawk. Anyway, it has twice the caffeine of regular Diet Pepsi. It also includes ginseng so I'm now able to categorize my out-of-control Diet Pepsi addiction as "healthy,"right? Really, in my world this is Nobel Peace Prize-worthy. Or at least a runner-up on American Inventor. Go buy it. Stop wasting your money on Red Bull. This will give you wings for about 50 cents and it doesn't taste like medicine. 3. Last but not least, Nicole Richie is still carrying stuff in front of her stomach while neither publicly confirming or denying a pregnancy. This leads me to believe she's knocked up. Rumor has it the baby will be named Publicity.....I mean Felicity.

Photoshop Fun

Watch this:


Now this:


Editor's note: While I understand video #2 was meant to be a parody, it just so happens that my life experience leads me to believe that this is what happens in reality. Women evolve from not-so-cute to hot while men evolve from good-looking to well...that. Seriously, go to your 10 year high school reunion, find the hottest guy in your class and then call me and tell me I'm right.

I Vote "OMG is like Lindsay Lohan like ok like" as Britney Spears' New Album Title

I don't know if Britney Spears' website was hacked, she thinks she has a sense of humor or she's still in the midst of a breakdown. The site starts off with a quote "You'll Never See it My Way, Because You're Not Me." Poetic. Then she wants her fans to help name her new album. The options are:

1. OMG is like Lindsay Lohan like Ok like
2. What if the Joke is on you
3. Down boy
4. Integrity
5. Dignity
   

You have to pay to vote. Meanwhile, her mom is talking to the tabs: "Everything is going to be good," Lynne Spears tells the magazine. "Everything is going to be really good. I can see her life picking up and it's just going to hold great things for her." "Britney Jean Spears is the sweetest and the most sensitive and loving of all my children," says Spears. "She's just figuring things out." So Brian and Jamie Lynn are just petulant, invulnerable, hateful little creatures. I mean, they don't even show their private parts in public.

Couture du Jour: CKBlog - Scent of A Blogger's Ipod

A scent 13 years in the making: the CKOne sequel.

On the heels of a $60 million a year sales slump, the Calvin Klein company hopes to repeat its CK One success - the bi-sexual scent that once sold 20 bottles per minute at its peak breaking worldwide olfactory records. Here's the story:

The new scent is CK in2u. Get it CK “in to you"? The name is written in the shorthand of an instant message, a casual invitation to sex so immediate as to imply there was no time to spell it out: “in to you.” Of course you get it. The bottle, designed by Stephen Burks, is made from the same materials — white plastic and glass — recognizable in an iPod. “We have envisioned this as the first fragrance for the technosexual generation,” said Mr. Murry, using a term the company made up to describe its intended audience of thumb-texting young people whose romantic lives are defined in part by the casual hookup. Techno WHAT?!?! What does that mean? Is that like the time Jordan stuck a cell phone up her cooch in the back of a car while paparazzi were taking pictures? Last year, the company went so far as to trademark “technosexual,” anticipating it could become a buzzword for marketing to millennials, the roughly 80 million Americans born from 1982 to 1995. A typical line from the press materials for CK in2u goes like this: “She likes how he blogs, her texts turn him on. It’s intense. For right now.” The page is layered with watery graffiti images of the words “sex” and “today,” and on top of that, as large as the models, two glass bottles shaped like rocket silos topped in white plastic casing and the name of the new scent: CK in2u. [source]

OMG. Quick bottle up some perfume in an ipod, label it with casual sex and market it to everyone ages 12-25. Why didn't Apple think of this? “She likes how he blogs, her texts turn him on. It’s intense. For right now.” That makes me laugh out loud. LOL. You know a totally disenfranchised 70 year-old marketing exec came up with this after a weekend with his great grandson. Text message sex is the new email sex which was the new fax sex which was the new phone sex which was the new love letter. Ah yes, now it’s all so linear. Anyway, Dino would make the most perfect CK perfume model/blogger. He’s the perfect homosexual technosexual. Someone get this Mr. Murry on the phone. We also have room for advertising. :)