Xine's Update For Today

I thought today was going to be a produtive blog day for me considering I started off my morning with a conversation in which I psychoanalyzed Dino's nipples. Alas, it didn't work out that well. So, I'm going to cover a few random things in one nice, little blog entry:

1. My laptop died. This is my second laptop death this year leaving me only with a desktop at home and a desktop at work - both of which are not blog-friendly. This time my Dell laptop kicked it. I received the blue screen of death (pictured below). If anyone knows how to help me, it would be much appreciated. A magical incentive is that once the laptop is fixed, I will post more often.2. Some genius at the Diet Pepsi factory innovated Diet Pepsi Max - Invigorating Cola like a month ago. I swear it just made it to the Diet Pepsi shelf at my grocery store yesterday. Trust me, I'm like a hawk. Anyway, it has twice the caffeine of regular Diet Pepsi. It also includes ginseng so I'm now able to categorize my out-of-control Diet Pepsi addiction as "healthy,"right? Really, in my world this is Nobel Peace Prize-worthy. Or at least a runner-up on American Inventor. Go buy it. Stop wasting your money on Red Bull. This will give you wings for about 50 cents and it doesn't taste like medicine. 3. Last but not least, Nicole Richie is still carrying stuff in front of her stomach while neither publicly confirming or denying a pregnancy. This leads me to believe she's knocked up. Rumor has it the baby will be named Publicity.....I mean Felicity.

I Feel Old

The other day I ran across this boy on myspace - I used to babysit him when he was like 7. He's graduated, smokes weed, has a girlfriend and dropped out of college. I immeditately called my spa to find out how much it would be to have my forehead botoxed. $240. Not bad. This morning I saw this recent picture of Pee Wee Herman (right). He needs to retire Pee Wee because he's looking like the Playhouse is about to become a Retirement Home. Insert really annoying laugh here. Ok, time to go back to my personal crisis.

Then vs. Now

Return of Xine from LALA land

My one fan probably noticed I haven't been around for over a week-ish. Turns out I was on vacation in CA without my laptop and with plenty o' cocktail in my hand. It was quite the eventful Memorial Day weekend in LA. To warm me back up to this blogging deal, I've written some Friday haikus. They're borderline Rosie O'Donnell blog material so cut me some slack:

Vacation:
Went to the West Coast
Stayed in Santa Monica
Cocktails at the pool

Lindsay crashed:
Lindsay lost control
Mercedes crashed in a bush
Driven by cocaine

Nicole Richie only wants people under 100 pounds at her party. Scale at the door:
Anorexic girls
No triple digits allowed
Easier OD

Misha Barton OD'd at Anorexic Party:
Antibiotics
Do not take with alcohol
Mischa’s (lie) story

Come on down. You're totally not the next contestant on the Price is Right:
See the Price is Right
People camping in the line
Barker retires

Double haiku for Brandon "not so fat/greasy in person" Davis:
He’s called Fat Elvis
Not that greasy in person
Scrubbed it for Spago?

Grandma looks scary
They used to be billionaires
Eating with peons

Celebrity Clone: Toof Edition

Throw a black wig and eye makeup on xine when she's wearing her Halloween teef and you'll have a regular old Amy Winehouse.